The other weekend, my 9-year-old son asked if he could buy a grabber from Amazon. Not a toy one—he wanted the real deal. He scrolled past the plastic claws and chose one with a telescopic arm, textured grippers, and a sturdy two-pronged claw.

Then, without hesitation, his 5-year-old brother chimed in: “I want a grabber too!”

When an employee asks for a raise, a promotion, a new title, or additional flexibility, their request is rarely just about the tangible outcome.

A few years ago, I had an employee who was eager for a promotion. She was smart, hardworking, and ambitious, but every time we talked about her next steps, she focused on why she deserved it rather than how she was growing into it. She wanted the title, the salary bump, and the recognition—but when I asked what skills she was actively developing to prepare for the role, she didn’t have an answer.

This is a common trap. We assume career growth is about proving we’re already ready for the next step. But real growth isn’t about waiting for someone to acknowledge our potential—it’s about actively stepping into it.