How Flat Tires Helped Me Stop Overthinking
Our Ford F-150 had been sitting in the driveway for 3 weeks, untouched. It worked just fine, we simply didn’t have a need to drive it. And so, for 3 weeks, I didn’t pay it any mind.
A friend came to visit one day. As he walked up the driveway, he commented on the truck.
Did you know your truck has a flat tire? he inquired.
I didn’t know this. I hadn’t paid it any mind for 3 weeks. I should have noticed it. It’s parked right next to my car, which I drive every day. I walk past the truck every day. I drive up to the truck every day. I hadn’t noticed the flat tire. I should have noticed it. My friend noticed it right away. I didn’t.
My mind spiraled within milliseconds.
How could I let this happen?
He must think I can’t take care of my things.
What else have I overlooked?
I somehow failed.
I shook off these intrusive thoughts and thanked my friend for letting me know.
A little while later, the same friend was talking to my husband and informed him of the flat tire situation.
My husband replied quite plainly with a chuckle:
Yep, that sounds about right!
He was completely unphased by the flat tire discovery. The same flat tire discovery that had me spiraling just moments earlier. But my husband laughed it off. Afterall, it did sound about right. The truck had been sitting in the driveway for a while.
What is This Sorcery?
Why did this situation make me feel like a failure, and yet it was so easily dismissed by my equally culpable husband? He didn’t blame me. He didn’t blame himself. He didn’t blame the truck. He didn’t blame my friend. He didn’t blame the driveway, or a rogue nail, or our kids or dog. It was what it was. A flat tire. Yep, that sounds about right!
This unfortunate event of the flat tire was simply an unfortunate event. And it sounds about right because we ignored the truck for 3 weeks. If you ignore something, you might not notice something is wrong. That sounds about right.
But how can my husband laugh it off? Why didn’t this unfortunate event affect his self-worth the way it had mine? What is this sorcery? And how do I cultivate more of it?
It is What it is
It seems utterly absurd that a flat tire, that I didn’t actively puncture, affected my self-worth. The tire does not have a soul that conspired against me. It is simply a piece of rubber responding to the elements, none of which are ME.
What if my friend thought I’d neglected the truck? So what? That, also, is out of my control.
But what if my friend felt a sense of value in helping me find the tire and re-inflate it? What if his love language is Acts of Service? Then my neglect was a gift.
But I cannot take credit for that either. Because if the tire has nothing to do with my self-worth, that must be true in both the positive and negative contexts.
In reality, it’s simply neutral, and I had no business assigning any weight to it at all. It is what it is.
And yet, this often happens to many of us. We allow outside factors to affect our self-worth. We take it all so personally and worry our little heads about what others may think of us in contexts that are completely out of our control.
What is the Point of This Post?
Why am I sharing this seemingly pointless story with you? I could not believe how much real estate this flat tire took in my head. And I’d wager to bet you have things taking up space in your head to which you’ve assigned undue weight. What are you overthinking right now?
This is your sign to think, Yep, that sounds about right.
Pump up your tires.
And let it
