Spiders Under Your Bed…and other things that prevent you from being braver
It was 5:50am. I listened to the yoga instructor’s soft voice coming through my iPhone as I laid my forehead onto the sweaty mat. I’m not a great yogi, but I enjoy a nice morning routine in solitude with my yoga app. I had done this routine dozens of times in my bedroom before the kids woke up. With my forehead on the mat, I looked to my right towards my bed. Then I saw it. There was a shadow that looked like a large spider under my bed. I continued to follow the instruction and rose up into the next pose. But on the flow back down to my forehead, I saw it again. This time I stopped listening to the yoga instructor. I jumped up! I hate spiders. Especially free-roaming giant spiders in my house and under my bed.
I paused the app and crouched down cautiously to have a better look. There was definitely something under the bed that appeared to have very long, upside-down V shaped legs. I grabbed my yoga mat and took it out into the living room to resume my practice with a prickly, crawly feeling on my skin. So much for mindful, smooth-breathing yoga.
What if it Runs?
For the rest of the day I avoided the left side of the bed. I walked around it in a large arc each time I needed to pass by. I made up the bed from the opposite side, attempting to smooth the blankets by lying my body fully across the width of the bed. I looked for a second at the crooked pillows and crumpled blanket. It would have to do. I refused to stand by the other side of the bed with my feet within inches of the spider. I knew it was just sitting there, waiting for me in the shadows.
I ran scenarios through my head.
I could get a flashlight to have a better look.
But what if it runs further under the bed, or even worse, toward me!?
I could poke it with a broom handle. But what if it runs!?
I could spray it with Windex. But what if it runs!?
I could suck it up with a vacuum. But what if it runs!?
I could bribe one of my children to poke it. But what if it runs!?
What if I did nothing and I walked into my room later to see it just standing intimidatingly in the middle of my bedroom!? And then it runs!?
All day I considered ridiculous ways to get the spider out of my house. But out of fear, I did nothing at all but worry. As I walked into each room, I jumped at the sight of anything on the floor, convinced there were spiders waiting for me around every corner.
Hours later I faced a harsh reality. It was time for bed, and I hadn’t done anything about the spider. Maybe it ran away. Maybe it was still lurking somewhere in my bedroom. How could I sleep knowing this creature was still waiting in the dark shadows to crawl into my ears and lay eggs on my brain while I sleep? (Yeah, I know most of those stories are just click-bait, but I still worry.) I had to make a decision.
Facing the Spider
I turned on the flashlight on my phone and swiped up to full brightness. I crouched down once more, several feet away from the edge of the bed for safety. And there it was. Still lurking. Still waiting to run toward me at any second. I wasn’t sure if it was comforting or scary that it hadn’t moved at all. I stared at it. Maybe it had moved slightly. Was it a little closer to the edge of the bed frame? Maybe.
I inched closer. A spider has eight legs. This creature had more than eight legs. I inched closer. Maybe it was dead. I inched closer. It was fuzzy. I inched a little closer. It had dust-bunnies stuck to it. A live creature wouldn’t gather dust-bunnies, right? I inched closer.
There was no spider. No creature. It was just a kid’s fuzzy toy that had gathered enough dust to appear leggy. I let my breath out in relief. After an entire day of worrying, I could finally sleep.
What Are Your Spiders?
We all have creepy crawly shadows of spiders under our beds. In reality, these menacing creatures are old beliefs collecting dust. When we don’t shine the flashlight to see them for what they really are, the shadows they cast are scary.
In effect, we avoid the truth.
We worry unnecessarily.
We hold ourselves back.
We tiptoe around the big scary thing and avoid it out of fear that it will become real and run toward us with its big scary legs and pinchers. They’ll crawl in our ears while we sleep and lay eggs on our brains.
Maybe it’s someone’s negative opinion that you’re holding onto. Maybe it’s a limiting belief that prevents you from taking a brave step in a new direction. Maybe it’s that little voice that says you aren’t smart enough, brave enough, experienced enough, or good enough.
Those beliefs lurking in the shadows under our beds aren’t as scary when we see them for what they really are.
Take out your flashlight and expose those critters. They aren’t so scary when we see that they aren’t even real.
