The Parenting Lesson That Stuck

Years ago, I joined a book club. Most of the time, we dove into fiction—characters, plots, twists, and the occasional debate over what the author really meant. But one month we switched things up and read a parenting book: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

As both a mom and an educator, I was curious. One tactic stuck with me: when a child is upset, don’t just dismiss their feelings. Instead, encourage them to brainstorm any solution that comes to mind—no matter how wild, impractical, or silly it sounds. The very act of naming options helps them calm down, think more clearly, and realize they have more control than they thought.

Putting It Into Practice

At the time, I was serving as an education director. One young student struggled deeply with separation anxiety. Remembering the book, I tried the tactic.

Within minutes, she went from tears to brainstorming:

• “Maybe Mommy could sneak into class…”
  
  
• “Maybe she could hide under the desk…”
  
  
• “Maybe she could quit her job and stay here forever!”
  
  

Eventually, she settled on a solution she could manage: writing her mom a letter. Of course, it didn’t magically bring her mother into the classroom—but it gave her a sense of connection and, more importantly, a sense of control.

From Classrooms to Boardrooms

Fast forward to today, and I use this same approach with leadership teams. When a team is stuck on a challenge, I have them list out every possible solution—even the ridiculous ones.

“We could hire aliens to do the work!”
“We could just cancel the project!”
“We could double the budget overnight!”

The laughter helps, but more importantly, the flood of ideas breaks down mental walls. It opens the door to creative problem-solving and exposes blind spots the team hadn’t considered.

The Real Problem With Teams

Too often, leaders (and their teams) get trapped in the belief that challenges are outside their control. They throw their hands up, point fingers, or get lost in complaint cycles.

But here’s the truth: there’s always a solution. It may not be the perfect solution, or even the one you wanted—but there’s always a step forward.

Leadership Lessons

• Don’t shut down ideas too early—sometimes the most impractical suggestion sparks the most creative breakthrough.
  
  
• Shift the focus from what’s out of your control to what’s within your control.
  
  
• Remember: progress comes from action, not perfection.
  
  

The Takeaway

When faced with a challenge—whether in parenting, business, or leadership—don’t ask, “Can this be solved?” Instead ask, “How many ways could we solve this?”

The answers might surprise you.